Controlling the Old and the Young

Why do we discriminate against two important groups of society? And how do we stop?

Over the past 45 or so years, I've written often about age discrimination against children and young people. About ten years ago, I wrote: “In our culture (and many, if not most, others in the world), adults have a special status of control over kids. Adults make decisions for their own and other people’s children, create rules that govern children’s day-to-day lives, and generally tell them what to do. That often manifests in ordering, directing, preaching, disciplining, demeaning, embarrassing, questioning, patting and other touching without permission, yanking, ignoring, yelling, and referring to children in the third person.”

I've also occasionally written about how we treat people at the other end of the age spectrum. In this article from 20 years ago, I wrote about how the prospect of moving my 96-year-old mother into a long-term care home made me question many aspects of both my values and the way our society treats its elders. As I've personally aged, I've come to understand more fully how ageism and all its authoritarian and condescending aspects is just as bad in regards to those nearing the end of their lives as it is towards people at the beginning of life. The details may differ (although perhaps not as much as we'd like to think), but they originate from the same attitudes and result in similar treatment. Two recent, local-to-me news stories illustrated that for me quite vividly.

In one town, there's been a search for a location to replace an outdated long-term care home for elders who are no longer able to live on their own or with family. But so far, the local government has had no luck persuading residents that a new seniors' home would be good for their community. In fact, the residents opposing new proposed sites have scuttled two locations so far. Apparently, they don't want a bunch of old people and the necessary activity involved with their care to mess up their neighbourhoods. Best to hide them away on the outskirts of town rather than have them and their caregivers right in the middle on prime land.

Underlying this seems to be the idea that the elderly, especially those who are frail, must be isolated from the centre of their communities -- warehoused for their own good.

The other article involved violence in public schools. The number of violent incidents reported by school staff has apparently increased 60 per cent in the last seven years. However, the full extent is believed to be even higher, due to “data collection weaknesses.” There were a number of proposals to deal with the problem, including better defining what is a violent act, then improving the reporting and tracking of this behaviour. Absent was analysis of the reasons children and young people are so unhappy that they are attacking their peers and caretakers. A subsequent article did mention the trend toward non-attendance that was born of the pandemic school disruptions but forcing kids back into school was the simple solution proposed for that.

Underlying this seems to be the idea that kids must attend school in order to learn – warehoused for their own good. (Evidence to the contrary abounds, including on our Life Learning Magazine website.)

I think that for these things to change, our society must let go of the hubristic assumption that adults in a certain age range know best how to care for those younger and older. And we must begin to value and respect the capabilities of both of those groups. Other societies in the past have done this; I wonder if and how ours can get to that point.

Thanks for reading! If you are new here, or new to my writing on this and other topics, here's a solid collection of my work.